I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
