i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
