Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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