Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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