Just cropdusted the office
two words: eviction party
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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