We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
