Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
