11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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