Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
