Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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