Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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