my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
