So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
