I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
