he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
