I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
