sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
