Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
