Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
