i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
