Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
