just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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