But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
