You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
