I love black thongs
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
