he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
