I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
