we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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