Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
