people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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