All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
