Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
