You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
