i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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