He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You've changed since you got that strap on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize