I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
