All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
