You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
