Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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