is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
