If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
