It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
