We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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