Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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