Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
