My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My liver just broke up with me...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
