you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
