Your mouth is God's brothel.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
