He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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