That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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