i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
