call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
