I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Congratulations! We have a period
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
