he fucked my hip out of place.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
