i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
