I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
